Happy Tuesday, friends! Today I'm linking up with Erika from A Little Bit of Everything for Tuesday Talk.
I thought I'd be super candid today and talk about perspective. By that word, I mean my own. I have this thing about me that I seemingly have no control over and it has to do with the issue of control. I know in my heart that I am not in control of circumstances around me, like what the weather does or how things may or may not turn out, but when that gets out of hand, it's like I become a different person. (One that is unrecognizable and one I don't like.)
I'll give you a for instance—just yesterday I shared about how full our house currently is and I said that a full house makes for a full heart and that is true. It is absolutely true and I have been like that forever. But when things are messy and my dogs have gotten ON MY LAST NERVE (and when I'm tired), I find myself being VERY grumpy and easily aggravated. (Other things that contribute to me being this way are when I feel anxious or upset by something, being sick, when something is coming up that I am dreading, or when I feel claustrophobic because of bad weather in the forecast.) Yesterday was a good day, though and everything seemed fine, until all of a sudden it wasn't. The fact that my husband is the complete polar opposite of me can be both a great thing and a terrible thing. I was feeling trapped inside the house, I was anxious about needing groceries (I shop on Mondays) and I was also anxious about any of my family members being out on the roads in their icy conditions. All of that just snowballed (See what I did there?) and this morning I was in much need of some time with the Lord. (I have to brag on Todd because he won't grocery shopping at TWO stores for me, though it was his idea to go to Costco.)
I won't say that I feel back to normal yet, but I am definitely feeling better than I was. I read in my Bible this morning and I will write out Scripture in just a bit, because I went and did a few things upstairs before everyone started waking up. I spent some time in prayer, because I neglected that part of my relationship with the Lord yesterday. (Remember the full house I mentioned? It's hard to get quiet enough to talk to the Lord when my surroundings are loud and everyone is coming and going.) The time wasn't as long as I would have wanted, but it was better than yesterday. I think for the remainder of my day I will just journal out my thoughts and prayers there. These things are definitely helping me keep my head on straight today and the mental pep talks I keep giving myself. Even just this act of writing out this blog post is helping.
I know it may seem trite to some of you reading this, but I also attribute some of my thinking to being an anxious person. I don't just mean anxious as in worrying, but I mean as one who struggles with anxiety of all different types. I know all the right things to do to help myself out, but this is nothing that I can control. When it comes to worrying over situations like weather or how things turn out, I know that I need to surrender those to God and I do that. I also trust Him with every detail of my life. I have to make myself pray through things and doing that does help.
All of these things do help me and by now, I pretty much know how to get myself out of some of the debilitating anxious thoughts. It's hard to understand how anxiety can be for someone who doesn't suffer from this, but I started my battle with this as a young girl. It would take a whole other blog post to spell out why I think I have battled with this my whole life, but it's just the way my brain is wired and I sometimes fret over the dumbest of things. This is when my husband is really good for me—he is the breath of fresh air that I need when I'm needing to be talked down. You should witness how he treats me on airplanes, it's very sweet.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to talk about today. Consider yourself fortunate if you don't battle with anxiety. I don't take medicine for this, though I am never against that notion, should the need arise. For now I can cope on my own, but another way in which this rears its ugly head is as severe white coat syndrome when I see doctors. I'm rolling my eyes at myself, because it sounds ridiculous even as I write that out. Needless to say, I don't go to the doctor all that often.
I'd be so interested to hear from some of you, if you battle with this and hearing what this looks like in your life. Sometimes it's good to talk about things to get them off our chests and to encourage one another. The whole reason I mentioned the word perspective is that sometimes I need a good dose of it in my life. In spending quality time with the Lord this morning and reading in His Word and praying, He helped me gain the perspective I needed to face the day. And guess what? I had a much better day today. My house was still full, so like I said, I really do love having extra people here, it's just that my focus changed and as I started thanking God for certain things and praying for other people, I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
If you're still here, thanks for reading my blog and thanks for always being so encouraging to me. I've had comments lately from people I don't really know who are the sweetest of cheerleaders. You never know what a person walks through and how your words can be so life giving. Love to all.