I think sometimes mine are too high. Do you have this problem? By this statement, I mean that I will expect something to turn out really well...like our 4th of July. I expected it to be full of family, fireworks, yummy food...and it was full of family (just those of us who reside in our house), but that was about it.
I'm not saying it was bad...just not how I thought it was going to turn out. We celebrated with our sweet neighbors Tuesday night...we went to their house for a cookout and to swim. Then we watched the fireworks. Wednesday, we just sat around. Literally, all day, that is what we did. I don't think I got out of my pj's at all. That is so nice to do every once in a while, and that day was no exception. I think we were all on overload from being gone so much this summer. It's been great to have a week with all of us at home.
Back to the expectations, though, why are mine so high? I think I've had some really great family time over holidays, and I think that might have set the standard. I don't know if that is the answer or not, but I am starting to learn from my disappointments.
I'm learning that it's okay to let an idea of something go. Not every holiday is going to be like a Norman Rockwell painting. And sometimes, that's not even what life is about. How many times have we been let down by something that didn't happen exactly the way we wanted it to? Like my 4th of July...we sat around, watched a little television, read, ate some yummy leftovers, the boys played video games with Todd, and we just generally enjoyed our day together.
And for us, for that day, was exactly what we needed.
I hadn't thought about the fact that Todd was tired from running around like crazy all week. It's not often that he gets a full day at home with us, and he thoroughly enjoyed that time.
It's also okay that sometimes we celebrate with just our immediate family: Todd, Graham, Drew, Jonah, Noah and myself.
It's okay that we don't get dressed sometimes, but that we just sit and enjoy the time God has given us to be together.
It's okay that our normal might not compare to a Facebook friend's holiday celebration...or to a picture someone pins on Pinterest.
It's okay to be lazy sometimes. I have issues with this sometimes, too. I don't like to be idle. I am pretty sure I get this from my sweet Daddy. He struggled with the same thing when I was young, although I can relax now better than he ever could...I just don't often completely let go of duties and responsibilities.
It's also okay for me to every once in a while have a day that I do no laundry, major cooking, cleaning or anything else. It's okay that I sometimes spend an entire day doing nothing but reading (and finishing) a really good book. It's okay for me to get caught up in a story like that.
Especially in light of the precious Trey Erwin dying, I am promising myself to let go more often. I don't want to be the wife and mom who gets so caught up in the details that I miss an important day of doing nothing together.
I am promising myself to embrace life as it comes more often...like I did last night. Our upstairs AC is on the fritz and we had a family camp-out in the living room. Originally I had thought the kids would need to sleep upstairs in the man cave with the door shut. (We have a window unit in that room, and it was really cool in there.) And at first I didn't want them sleeping down here on the hardwood floor. But then I remembered that they're young, and their little backs can handle it just fine. And it wasn't about being uncomfortable...it was about being together.
I am promising to not have such high expectations. I am promising that the only expectation I have will be to embrace my family and the life we have made together. And in the midst of it all, I promise to try and never take the small moments for granted. God has given me this amazing family, for who knows how long, and I promise to cherish every single moment we're given.
Love to all.
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