I'm so happy right now, at this instant. I wish I could bottle this emotion and pull it back out for use on days when I'm not so much. I feel like things are falling into place...and in a huge decision about next year (I know I said something contrary in a previous post), my eyes have been opened.
What I have been praying about, seeking God's wisdom for, trying to come to a conclusive decision (not just a, "Well, I guess I'll just do this and change it later if I have to" kind of decision) about has all of a sudden become perfectly clear.
And it came from the mouths of my babes. Jonah and Noah...the source of all my "what to do's".
I think I might be taking a (HUGE) leap of faith in this decision, but it's one that I feel we can do for just a year...to kind of "try it out" and see what happens. I can always reverse the decision if I need to.
But it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I have peace about it all...though I may need to come back to this post occasionally and re-read it.
Remind me of this feeling, okay?
Especially on the days when I get overwhelmed...and upset...and confused as to why on this earth would I have done something like this...remind me. Please. And then pray for me.
I know some days will be great. And I know other days will stink. But I know, that for the next year, I get to help mold my littlest two into more excellent people. Their brothers have made a different decision, and I will support that. It's different with them...different school, more to be involved in...a brand new school to be excited for. It's just different for them. Not at all bad...just different.
I get it.
If you haven't guessed yet, you'll have to wait around a little longer. I'm not quite ready to put it into writing yet. But I will...and I've started the process. My heart is fluttering madly in my chest...I don't know if it's nervousness or excitement. But something is stirring...
That's all for now. Love to all.
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