Monday, May 25, 2009

Things I Learned From A Show I Watch

It is no secret. After this weekend, marathon weekend, I might add, I have learned that I have a Jon & Kate problem. As in I like it so much, that now my kids are hooked, kind of problem. Again, Todd, please keep all sarcastic remarks to yourself.

I watched tonight's episode with my heart breaking into pieces. Too many times tragedy strikes a marriage, and couples take the easy way out, or so they think. The old saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side", is NOT true. And with separation comes all sorts of problems.

Anyhow, these are some things that this lovely couple has taught me. It is not rocket science. It takes time, effort, and a commitment. With those things, come marital happiness.

*Wives, do not EVER EVER EVER talk down to your husbands. No matter how mad they make you. No matter that they don't put things where they belong. No matter if they make sounds you don't like to hear.

*Husbands, don't ever take your wife for granted. She wants {needs} to be appreciated and romanced.

*No matter how much you disagree on something, don't ever get into it in front of the kids. It just makes them feel guilty for having to be there to witness the whole thing.

*Wives, don't nag the husband. Trust me. It's not gonna get done any faster with your nagging. In fact, it just may take five times longer. If you want something done, use your manners. You're never too old to say "please" and "thank you". A little appreciation and kindness go a long long LONG way.

*According to Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages, find out which way your spouse needs to be loved, and love them that way. Embrace the differences between the two of you, and take turns loving each other in the needed ways.

*Take the time and the effort to have time alone together. Whether it's a date night, or 30 minutes spent talking without the kids underfoot. The other night after we all finished dinner, the kids all got up, and Todd and I just sat there and talked. It was wonderful. In fact, it was so great that when we got up, I said something along the lines of, "Wow, that should happen more often." I know that life happens, but don't so overschedule yourselves or your kids that you can't take that time. Todd and I NEVER {hardly} have date nights. It's up to us to make that time for each other.

*I have said it before, and I will say it again. The kids need to see you love each other. Todd and I always hug and kiss in front of the boys. So much so that they don't even flinch anymore. They always used to say, "Ewwww, gross", then walk away. They don't even say that anymore. If you hug and kiss often, you're less likely to stay mad about something. Because who the heck wants to kiss someone they're mad at? {BTW, this is the answer that won us the free copy of Fireproof, and entered us into the grand prize drawing on KLove. So apparently, it's good.}

*Appreciate the efforts your husband makes around the house. So what if the dishwasher isn't loaded exactly right, or that the towels from that night's showers are still on the bathroom floor? The fact is, if they do it, be thankful. They don't have to help at all. They don't even have to be home at all. And yet they are. Take the time to say {and mean} thank you.

*When he talks, listen. When she talks, listen and make eye contact. He needs your attention, and she needs to see your eyes.

I could go on, but I'll stop. I am no marriage expert. I know that once my marriage was shaky, and now it's not. I know that we both messed up in the past, and we still mess up today. But I know that we love each other. We are committed to God, and to each other. We are not perfect by any means, but we do what we have to do to stay in tune to each other. You are NEVER too old to learn a new trick.

Oh, and not all these things were gleaned from tonight's episode. Just a couple. The rest of them I learned through a Bible study that I did a few years ago called, Apples of Gold. It's based on the book of Titus: older women teaching a younger woman how to be a godly wife. A lot of these concepts can be found in the book of Proverbs. And yet some more can be learned from The 5 Love Languages. Marriage takes time. It takes lots and lots of work. And creativity. And fun. Now go and get to working, and have some fun along the way.

1 comment:

Leesha said...

Wow!! Great stuff girl! I don't watch the show, but I just hate that that poor couple is going through such a time.

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