Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Some Disturbing Facts About Myself

So I'm just going to lay it all out on the line here. I've noticed somethings about myself that I'm not sure are good or bad. They can all probably be a little of both, if taken in large doses. Hmmm, I'll have to think about that some more.

1. I am shamelessly addicted to reality television. I love Jon&Kate, The Bachelor (&ette), The Amazing Race, Dancing With The Stars, and probably a few more that I just can't think of off the top of my head. There are good things about some of these shows, some I said, not all. There is not much good found in The Bachelor. And especially in last night's episode. Enough said about that.

2. I think that I am slightly obsessive compulsive. Really. There are certain things I check and recheck: the garage door being shut (I've slept with it open all night a few times, hence the reason), the back door being locked, the counter being completely smooth and clean (if there are 'rough' spots I can feel, it drives me nuts), my alarm clock being set to the exact right time (even though I NEVER get up at that said time), I could go on but I'll save myself the embarrassment. (Is that spelled right? My spell check says yes, but it looks strange to me. Oh, that's another thing...I check, double and triple check what I write b/c I hate spelling/grammar mistakes. I am the word police.)

3. I am never happy with my hair. I don't complain about it, because what can that help? All that does is annoy everyone around you. I won't change it because the thing that stinks about curly hair is that there is no 'style' for it. I can do short hair. Or I can do long hair. I can do layers and make it a little better. Or I can do no layers and go for the desirable triangle look. None of which are particularly flattering. The other thing I hate about it is that even when it's long...past my shoulders, I mean...you can never tell. The longer it gets, the curlier it gets. It seems as if it will forever be 'shoulder length'.

4. I am addicted to this blog. I absolutely love to write on here. It occurred to me the other day that it may seem as if I am bragging on this blog about my wonderful, great life. If you feel that way at all, I am so sorry. I really do NOT intend to do that. I feel amazingly blessed by God that sometimes the words just pour out of me. Oftentimes after I write on here, I just stop and praise God for what He has done in my life. I am by no means perfect (ask Graham and Drew how I flipped out yesterday over a broken picture frame) and never will be, but I am saved by God's amazing grace. Really. I just want the world to see God's goodness. Because He is.

The other thing I am addicted to, which is not necessarily a bad thing, is keeping a healthy balance of the things I love most: keeping my husband comfortable and happy in his home, and making sure my kids are happy, well balanced and well taken care of. Like I said, these things aren't really bad, but I am a bit obsessive about making sure of these things. I keep a clean house. There are certain things that bother me in a house: people knowing and seeing that I have pets (and smelling them), and dirty~ness. I hate cobwebs, dust on the ceiling, and pet hair on the floor. Just to name a few. I work hard to keep our home clean and picked up. Or clutter~free. Well, almost. Hard to do with 4 boys who don't like to put things away. I get immense joy from cleaning and organizing. The bad thing is that I drag the boys into it. BUT, to my benefit, my motto is 'Lots of helping hands make for faster work', so it really is a team effort. The good thing about being like this is that I am always ready for people to come over. I love when people just 'drop in' and surprise us. My goal is to always have an open door, and by doing a little work everyday, that makes it all possible. I may write more about that another day, because I think that this is a gift. Either you have it or you don't, and like I love getting helpful hints, I wouldn't mind sharing some of mine.

5. I love when people leave comments on my blog. I do. Not to say how great I am, but just to drop in and say hi. I leave a comment on almost every blog I read (notice my growing list to the right of this post). SO IF YOU DON'T USUALLY COMMENT, PLEASE DO. It would make my day. Ahem, Mom, Bill, Tricia, Dad, Sandy, Katie, Shea, Nikki, Erika, Debi, Lisa and any other ones I'm forgetting. If you don't see your name, then thank you for leaving me little notes. =) I know. I'm weird. I really do like the little things in life, you know? Words are one of my favorite things. Ever since the day Todd and I (Todd and I? Todd and me? Todd and myself? SEE THE PROBLEM HERE???) started dating, I have told him that what I love the absolute most are cards. I could totally go without the gift, but give me a nice card, and my world is well. I love giving cards, as well. I love the thought process that goes into giving them...the going out, finding the right words, the right picture on the front, the right logo on the back (yes, I admit, I am a Hallmark kind of gal), the right colors, you name it. And I don't just sign my name, I include my own personal note. Maybe I should be in the card designing business. Hmmm, that will require some more thought as well.

Well, talk about random. I totally went off subject on that last one. I need to make some decisions in my life. Consider this my plea to you to pray for this area in my life; I need to decide what I want to do with my life. One thing I know; God created me to be a wife and mom. Those are my number one desires in life and will forever remain that way. But what about the REST of my life? When the boys don't need so much 'help' at school in their classrooms? When the days of being their room mom are over? When they grow up and leave this little nest Todd and I have made for them? I pray about this all the time, for God to show me what He wants for my life. If I had to narrow it down to one thing, it would be to write. I absolutely love to do this. As you all know from the thousands of times I've said that. At one time I would have said that my greatest desire would be to teach, but I think that has changed since I've started working at their elementary school. Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad place to work. If you're me and just stay in the cafeteria. All the other areas are too difficult. There's way too much politically correctness going on there, and we all know I've been known a time or a hundred to just completely speak my mind. Especially when it comes to my Jesus and not hiding His truth. I better stop now.

Anyway, I've been praying this prayer for such a long time now. I don't want to write just any old thing. I don't know if I want to write a book, or articles for magazines, or short stories, or fiction, or non~fiction, or books for adults, books for children or books for teens. See? I'm confused. The other thing is my lack of training for this. I don't think publishers would take a glance at something like a blog. So how do I start? I could go to school, but there's the whole money (or lack thereof) issue. I did find a writer's conference coming up in May in my area~a fourth of a mile away, to be exact~that sounds promising. I got in contact with the people doing the conference and they answered the questions I had: what happens after the conference? Am I free (and trained) to start writing? How do I find a publisher? Well, turns out, I would be trained to start a writing career. As for the publishing thing, I think they also train you on how to be your own publisher, because that's the easier route. I don't know enough about it, really, and need to do some more research before I make any decisions. This costs a lot of money and I am not in the business of wasting that hard earned green stuff. But it's something to think about, isn't it?

Well, now that I've talked your ear off, I'm going to answer the bell on my drier that's telling me the clothes are dry. Thank you for reading my blog today. It's amazing how much better I feel when I 'talk' it all out. (I wonder if it's okay to finish a sentence with the word 'out'? Seems like it's not, if I remember correctly from elementary school. Isn't that called a dangling participle?) Good heavens, I don't know where that though even came from. One thing, though: these thoughts are all thoughts that I have when writing. The only difference is that I usually don't write out those thoughts. See how my little brain works??? Go ahead, laugh. I'm laughing as I finish this. Okay, enough, really. May you feel the love of the Lord shining upon you today and everyday.

2 comments:

Phyllis said...

You know I love your blogs and really miss them when you go a weekend without writing. :-) I really enjoyed reading all of this about you today, even though I actually knew just about all of it. I will be praying with you about your writing. I will read everything you write! I love you!!!

all4boys said...

Thank you! Prayer needed and appreciated!!! Will write for prayer, as a matter of fact!!!! Love you too!

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