Monday, September 15, 2008

Growing Up




I don't understand where all the time goes.  It seems like just yesterday I was having my first child, and here it is nine point five years later.  I remember the first time they placed Graham in my arms, I thought my heart would just burst out of my chest.  I had heard that it was normal if you didn't love your baby right away...many mothers don't supposedly, and I was prepared for that detachment at first.  But that never came.  I have never known love like that until I had a child.  Unless you're a mom, it's hard to understand, but the love just grows and grows and grows.  

It was like that each time I had a child...when Drew came along, I didn't think I'd love him as much.  I mean, how could I?  I already had my heart all filled up with Graham.  But I did, I loved him every bit as much as I did Graham, and I didn't think anymore love was in me.  Then came Jonah and Noah.  I could not do anything for one I didn't for the other, but love them both the same, I did.  

Why am I writing this, you wonder?  Well, I was at the boys' school working today (imagine that), and I saw the fourth graders walk by.  Okay, first off, he's in FOURTH GRADE.  Secondly, all those kids are huge compared to my little Graham.  I said something to his teacher about how huge they all were and she said, "I know, I love him that small.  He's my little Graham."  And she smiled and walked away.   I finished my stuff, and went to leave, and saw his class again, leaving art.  He ran up to me and hugged me and said, "Mom, I need to buy some posterboard for school for tomorrow!!"  I said, "Okay, we'll talk about this afternoon."  I tried to leave but he stopped me again and said, "Mom, I need the poster because I'm running for student government."  You could have knocked me over.  I cannot believe my child is old enough for this...so here we sit, him making his poster by himself and me biting my tongue to make it nicer.  =)  The neatness in me is coming out.  But all I said was to write nice and big so people could read it from far off.  I just can't believe he's so grown.  I was talking to a friend tonight, and she said in a few years I'll be the mayor of Testosterone City.  Ugh, I am definitely not ready for that.  I guess I'd better get used to them being independent, though.  This is the beginning of the rest of my life....

1 comment:

Kerstin said...

Thanks for sharing! I'm stuck at the 1st child phase where you don't know how you could possibly have enough love for another child. Kind of preventing me right now from having another- although I know that I want one! :) How fun to be a mommy of all boys! Yes, there will be a lot of testerone in the house but they will compare every girl they meet to their mom. What a special bond!

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